Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Learn to read between the lines.



You're like a distant star.
Bright, shining, dazzling me with all your power.
You're like a distant star.
You seem within reach, yet you're way too far. 

Tracing the lines on your forehead with my pinky finger, as you try to decipher the text from a random  person that you just received, I realize I know you as well as the back of my hand. I know your standard expressions. I can quote your standard replies. So well, that while waiting for you to say something, I can form your response in my head which I assure you, would be identical to yours. I could have an entire conversation with myself, pretending to be you. 
Yet in many ways, you're a stranger to me. And I, to you. Today, after years and years of companionship, I feel there's a glass sheet between us, between our hearts. Which allows us to understand our own viewpoint, but restricts effective communication. You're smiling at your Blackberry's screen, and I find myself smiling at you for reasons beyond my comprehension. It's like reflex. You smile, I smile. Or maybe this is where we're going wrong. Today, I am a mere reflection of your emotions in the clear blue stream of our love. Untainted, pristine, yet incomplete. Your sentiments decide the course of my day, your words can make or break me. I look at this stream of our love, and if I see an image of your grief, I reflect it faithfully. I am no longer a master of my own mind, I can no longer shun the sorrow that you radiate and try to become a source of joy for you instead. No. I am your reflection, and I've lost the firm hold that I had over the realities of my own life.
So don't ask me questions. Don't demand explanations. For what I feel now is not something I can weave into words. Words will never be enough to describe this chasm in my heart, constantly trying to break through it's walls. And your words will never be enough to fill this emptiness, it requires something much MUCH more. Something I need you to understand yourself, and not question me about. That something is all I need to keep my feet firmly rooted to the ground, to not crave for liberation from this loathsome existence of mine. 

You're like a distant star.
Bright, shining, dazzling me with all your power.
You're like a distant star.
You seem within reach, yet you're way too far.



Here's a song I felt echoed the emotion behind this post. 
More than words - Extreme :)


Again, a part of Kanika's Fantabulous February :)

16 comments:

  1. Your writing marvels me. You have very intricately expressed the emotions and feelings that otherwise can not be put into words. Kudos to that! And that only!

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  2. Awesome-shit Ruhani...and how amazing is that song :) And your banner is so awesome.( I soo need to work on my adjectives :P )

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  3. Haha I get what you mean lady. Thank you =D

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  4. You smile, I smile...

    Beautiful.

    Someone once said that we must write only when we desperately need to write, because, laughter and mood, is communicated from the writer to the reader.

    Hence, I smile too :)

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  5. "Today, I am a mere reflection of your emotions in the clear blue stream of our love. Untainted, pristine, yet incomplete."

    gave me chills, this one line.
    That was powerful Ruhani, really really well written.

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  6. "I am no longer a master of my own mind, I can no longer shun the sorrow that you radiate and try to become a source of joy for you instead. No. I am your reflection, and I've lost the firm hold that I had over the realities of my own life."
    Reason enough to make me hate you,all over again.

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  7. @Blasphemous Aesthete. I am glad I gave you a reason to smile :)
    Cheers! :)
    @Nil. Don't see much of you around here nowadays? Studying our asses off, are we now? :O
    Thank you so much! =D
    @Soumi. Hate me? Whyyy? :(

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  8. Chub, it surprises me to see how well you touch the extent of your imagination. You choose your words well lady.

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  9. More like freaked-off-our-asses yo :/
    Not even a friggin' week to go.
    *.*

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  10. Haha you're probably studying more than I am. The only productive work I do the entire day is post stuff on my blog!

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  11. I could have an entire conversation with myself, pretending to be you.

    lovely. so i gather u know so much about relationships from experience??

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  12. YES! Loads of experience! :)

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  13. Beautiful. Human psychology is so simple and at the same time, so invariant. I love how something so simple can make someone smile and think about all the possibilities of human relationships. Made me smile. Made me think. :)

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    Replies
    1. I am glad it did. Really am. :)

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Why you no comment? Waaaaaaaa :(