Buzz-Kill-Blackberry.

"It's just a phone"
"It's awesome"
"It's just a phone"
"WOAH. WHY does her BBM status say DMFL? WHO IS DM?
"Does it look like I care?"
"Ugh! You're just jealous because you don't have a Blackberry!"

BITE ME.
You have it. She has it. He has it. Every freaking person has it. And this is why Blackberrys have been annoying the shit out of me for a very long time now :

1. People are CONSTANTLY putting up statuses on Facebook on the lines of  "BBM Pin- FalanaDhimkana57" Not only that, I suddenly have EVENT INVITATIONS for adding people on BBM. What is happening to you, world? :O

2. Kids HALF my age have Blackberry phones. I mean the chunnus, the munnus, even the chotus. Because hey, in this day and age, kids haven't even hit puberty, but hey, they sure have a business phone. Which brings me to the million dollar question -WHAT DO KIDS NEED BUSINESS PHONES FOR? :O Enlighten me, someone? And then of course, coming back to Facebook, how can I possibly ignore the "OH AIMM GEE! I am so happy! Thank you for gifting me the Blackberry daddy! I love you :**** " statuses? Yes kid, the daddy you just screamed your lungs at till he bought that piece of scrap metal for you loves you too.

3. MUNCHING. I know taking screen shots can be fun[hell, haven't you seen my "EEEE! I have this many followers now! =D" posts yet?] But seriously, the world DOES NOT want to know about the random conversation you had with so and so person. And no, I did not find that excerpt from your mundane conversation minutely funny, I don't know how you did. Some of them could be interesting yes, but kindly clarify how . . . .
ABC : So . . . sup?
XYZ : Nothing I'm just celebrating a holi day.
ABC : HOLI? This time of the year?
XYZ : Abbey HOLIDAY! Chhutti!
ABC : Ohh. Why did you leave a space between the two words then? ROFLMAO.
XYZ : LOLOLOLOLOLOL.


. . .  would be the first thing I'd want to see when I log in after slogging my ass off, trying to learn the principle behind the Van De Graff generator? Go on, tell me?

4. BBM DPs.
"Omg! I am with my bee aiff aiff!"
Click.
"Omg! I am at the Justin Beiber concert"
Click.
"Omg I'm in the loo!"
Click.
Well frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. PLUS, you'd be surprised to hear these are considerably tolerable in comparison to what's coming next . . .
"Omg! I am supporting Anna Hazare! Wooohoo. Anna you're the dude! (y)
Shows two women pouting away to glory while the seriously interested folks shoot disgusted looks in their direction.
Ladies, you don't know the first thing about protest marches,do you? Well it starts with,umm I don't know, leaving your phones behind and fighting for the cause instead.


I believe Blackberrys are hyped beyond comparison. Here's why :
1. Sucky memory space.
2. Suck-ier camera.
3.Bid farewell to your beloved cellphone games. Go ahead, say buh bye?
4. Costs you ATLEAST 400 bucks for BBM+internet.
    On the other hand on a normal Nokia handset, Rs. 98-----> Whatsapp+Internet.
5. With all this shit, you'd think it'd cost you a little less. But no my dear cupcakes, you are highly mistaken.

At the rate at which people are buying them,soon the sabzi wala will be found flaunting one, making important calls and sending e-mails to his business associates at the mandi. And no fellas, this is not me being a bitch who's trying to imply that sabzi walas should not be in possession of cellphones. This is just me, being immensely sarcastic.
I still insist, this is a conspiracy against humanity. We're just making it easier for whichever cult or secret society or well,little green men aiding these operations, to control us. One little glitch and the entire world's cellphones will be as good as scrap pieces of metal from the junkyard.And then, the onslaught will commence. . . .
Having said all this, I am well aware of the fact that once this faithful friend of mine retires and a choice is given to me, with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes, I will be found pointing at that little black box in my nearest cellphone store. Well you read the "About me" section alright, hypocrite and not proud of it! Damn you, freaking peer pressure! And sorry, other better, much deserving phones. You are exceptionally talented, well endowed. But you see, I am yet another sheep of the herd controlled by a canadian company[If I were Barney, I'd be ashamed of myself] So tada to you better cameras, better memory space, better battery lives, clearer screens and hello to the menace which has been imposed on me by societal pressure.
For as a wise man[Read: My boyfriend] once rightly said "Oh you will most definitely get a Blackberry Ruhani. The question is WHEN."

Yours sincerely and tear eyed-ly[Yes, I just made that word up. Creative liberties FTW.]
Ruhani

The opinions expressed here are of yours truly. This post wasn't written to offend any individual or group.But 14 year old if you're reading this and you have a Blackberry, it sure in hell was written to offend you.