Hello, Annoying.

There is ALWAYS THAT person. That person who makes you wanna smash his/her head on a glass window, the moment you set your eyes on them. Being the temperamental freak that I am, I have always had one or two such people in my life. In the past my faulty judgement may have caused me to dislike an individual for no apparent reason, but I'd like to believe that NOW at least, I'm smart enough to have a certain set of concrete reasons for wishing every night that a certain person would simply vanish from the face of the Earth. Like POOF.
 For years, I believed that I was protective about certain people, certain things, certain activities. But the past few months have made me realize how particularly protective I am of MYSELF. Confused? Well so am I, in a way. But one thing that I know for sure is that come what may, I would NOT appreciate/allow it if a certain individual was hell bent on becoming ME! I am no angel, definitely not some sort of Little Miss Perfect. Nor do I have an enviable life/lifestyle. Hell, I probably have more flaws in my system than Lindsay Lohan! [Okay that MAY BE a teeny weeny bit of an exaggeration, but whatever!] But despite the fact that I probably am Satan's distant cousin, I do not want a second me roaming around on the streets! And definitely not anywhere near me, cause being the hot head that I am, the repercussions could me monstrous!
And hence, if there's a certain individual who wishes that my friends were their's, my words were their's, hell, even my EMOTICONS were their's, i'd like to know if this is reason enough to wish that I was on a separate planet all together. Pretentiousness is very well a punishable offence in Ruchopland[Yes, i just came up with that. Bitch please.], and on top of that if suddenly you think aping me is the best[est] idea there ever was , you're in for trouble. Please, go find a certain sense of individuality.
When in the 7th grade, under the "Your motto in life" section in my Slambooks, my friends wrote things like "Be yourself" and "I am what I am", I often laughed out loud and wondered how somebody could possibly be anybody but themselves! It is now that I realize that my dimwitted friends [Read:Pranav xD] were probably smarter when it came to all this, than I was. So hello, there's one thing you should know. If you did the things that you are doing presently back in the 8th or 9th grade, I probably wouldn't have been so mad. Because I am well aware of the fact that phase is when kids are writing things like "So-and-and-so-person ROXX" on all their bags and shirts and Facebook pages, and unintentionally picking up their friends habits[Ashna would know what I mean. Our handwritings(if at all that's a word) were practically the same through middle and most part of senior school, and I probably picked up more of her habits than my mother's]. Because hey, that's where the entire trying-to-find-their-THANG/identity/place in the world thing comes into play. So well, it's pretty much understandable. But THIS is not. Being a person of their age, trying to be who they're not is not healthy behavior. Trying to portray who they're not in front of the whole wide world is NOT healthy behavior. Living in a parallel universe/creating stories about themselves which are not true is NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR. And on top of that, fuck healthy behavior, trying to kill my buzz by suddenly befriending/stalking[you can add following on twitter/blogger to that list] my friends, adopting my habits, my salutation(s), expressions(beat that!), THE FREAKING WAY THAT I AM, is absolutely OBNOXIOUS behavior. No matter how fucked up, how idiotic, how insane I am, nobody else freaking has the right to try to be me! I own copyrights, bitches!
So please, if you're facing an individuality crisis or if you're still the kid from middle school trying to discover who you truly are, my sincere condolences are all I can offer. A smile, a shoulder to cry on, a promise of life long friendship? In your dreams, bitch!

For the rest of you who're absolutely wonderful just the way you are[and that's why i love you/follow you/adore your posts] a big BIG hug for all the welcome messages on my pehle se pehle wala post and all the  wonderful things that you said on the previous one. I genuinely hope that I don't let you down by not fighting back and getting back to who I was. A dancer by heart. :)
Now relieved after ranting my heart out,
Roo. :)

That feeling of emptiness.

My heart is a bottomless chasm. And I seem to keep falling in it. Over and over again.
I keep groping for something to hold helplessly, while I fall, slowly and surely. But I know for a fact that the things and people that once helped me keep my feet on terra firma are either gradually walking out, or are just beyond my reach now.
Just when I think I've found my place in this world, just when I experience a moment of sheer bliss, something or the other makes me realize that happiness for me is just a momentary phenomenon. Maybe I over think things. Maybe I try to read between the lines when there's actually nothing there for me to read. Or maybe I just have waaay too much spare time at the moment. And I'm sure you know all about the connection between idle minds and the devil.
So maybe crying out loud after watching a movie from the Step Up series, or an episode of So You Think You Can Dance is abnormal behavior. It's a pity that's all that comes naturally to me now. What else is one supposed to do when after years of knowing that Dancing is actually what defines you, you're told that you probably won't ever dance in life again? What else am I supposed to do when even after paying for my dance classes for almost 7 years, my mother thinks that dancing was the reason for my academic downfall in the 11th and 12th grade? WHAT exactly am I supposed to do NOW, when I KNOW that all those years of dance training have been wiped from my body's memory in just a matter of one and a half years? I cannot BEGIN to describe this feeling. It's like I don't know who I am anymore. There was ONE thing I could do. One thing I was actually known for. I had my share of ups and downs and through everything, dance was always there for me. I danced to express every emotion possible. It helped me out with my temper issues, it cheered me up when I thought life really wasn't worth living. In the outside world I was yet another face in the crowd. but in the dance class I was SOMEBODY. I want to be THAT somebody again. Pray for me, please?

Just a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl...

And then, I stopped writing all together.
THE END.
OR not?
At times all you need is a "I've read your blog a couple of times" to get you going.
Nothing's really changed. I still have nothing to talk about. I still have no fresh ideas in my head for a short tale or one of those vile posts that this blog is so (in)famous for. But you know what? I really don't care. Cause this is where I TALK. This is my voice, and I miss this feeling of being able to communicate with people who live next door, as well as people on a different continent all together. I miss you, blog. I miss typing ilikebigbuttsandicannotlie in my search bar. I miss people agreeing to the random thoughts that I decided to type down, and the healthy criticism that they offered now and then. HELLO FELLOW BLOGGERS. I haven't forgotten you, nuh uh. Nil, I miss being totally taken aback by the awesomeness, for the lack of a better word, of your posts. Peabee I miss that charm of every post of yours, your effortless humor. Vanta, your mindblowing art, Diwi the honesty of your posts. Kanika, the vibrancy of your blog and the utter simplicity, both on the same page. Enchanta and D2, those striking tales that are impossible to ignore. And EVERYONE else as well. DAMN, I miss this space. And you know exactly what I say when I am in a situation like this?
I say BLAHOO.
So hey folks! I am going to back soon enough. Probably not with a bang, but I am going to be back to find my place in this little world of ours which we proudly call the Blogosphere.
Till then,
You know you love me,
xoxo
Gossip Girl.
NAW! I'm just fucking around with you.
I love you peeps!
Roo Roo ROO! <3