Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Sitting, waiting, wishing.

Sitting on the front porch on a moderately cool winter evening, she couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't sitting inside, battling with Newton's postulates, or making love to trigonometric ratios. And though she really couldn't answer the question she had raised in her own head, she realized that one question had encouraged several others to crop up in her mind which was already cramped with chemical equations and mathematical identities.
Now that the protective walls of scholastic learning had fallen all around her, she was exposed to a world unknown to her in several ways, a world which scared the beejesus out of her. Not because she was afraid of what lay out there, but because she couldn't come to terms with what lay out there for HER. She knew she hadn't worked as hard as her peers, had watched American sitcoms while the rest of the batch tried to get into reputed American Universities, had day dreamed of Ballet classes, while her friends struggled to attend revision classes. She knew there wasn't much that she could expect from her mark sheet. But was the mark sheet the sole decision maker of her fate? Would the mark sheet decide whether was to lead a blissful existence or be looked down upon by society?Would it decide that by the end of the day, had she emerged a glorious winner or a big fat loser?All her life she had waited for the time when she would be able to step out of the safe boundaries of her home away from home. Se had loathed it with all her might. But now all of a sudden, she wasn't willing to let go. Not so easily. Not because she was afraid of embracing freedom. But because she was afraid of that sheet of paper that would make or break her.
 Sitting on her front porch on a cool winter evening, she couldn't help but wonder whether her talents and passions would count at all in the big bad world outside. Whether she should have  befriended Rutherford and Pythagoras instead of the long list of friends she was so proud of. And then, it didn't matter anymore. Cause she didn't have to  worry about all of that right  now. All she needed to do was finish a chapter of organic chemistry before dinner.


19 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Damn these Board exams! :|

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    2. Oh yes we most definitely should! But it won't help,right? They're scrapping off boards from 2013 anyway :|

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    3. And 2013 is our year! I really don't know if what they're doing is GOOD or BAD, Damn I hate change!!

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    4. It'll be GOOOOD! Now you'll only have to study for the entrances! :)

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  2. Never has been the marksheet been the sole decider of anyone's fate. It's ur talents and passions that'll set you apart from the rest. You'll Dance your way through, girl, you will.

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    1. I really hope that works for me! :/

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  3. You should do what you love. Attend those ballet classes and then every other dance form you want to learn. You may not be able to later when the effect of the marksheet becomes even more powerful. Right now, it's grip on you is still quite loose.
    I wish I could give up everything and write literature and music full-time. I will, sometime. But I can't yet. :(

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    1. I want to. I WILL. But as of for now, I really don't know WHEN. Because you know, my crash course starts ON the day my Board exams get over. And though I am really psyched about them[Cause well, I'm really passionate about it], I won't have the time for Ballet classes cause I'll have to cover the syllabus of almost two years in a month! :/
      Oh I'm sure you're manage. Infact, I'm sure you'll do much MUCH better than that! :)

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    2. We both need some giving up to do; of useless stuff, I mean. :D
      And btw, I'm in for the next yarn-spinning. :)

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  4. Replies
    1. This is all of us[barring the genius type kids] everyday of our lives! :|

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  5. Ahhh Chemistry!! I'm aware of the other sort :D

    Don't think abt tomorrow. Go ahead and take up those ballet classes. Do everything and anything to make yourself happy. That's how we need to live.

    First time here and I'm glad to be your 100th follower :D. Congrats on the century!!! :)

    P.S: I absolutely love your blog url :P

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    Replies
    1. Wooopieee! WELCOME TO MY BLOG SOUMYA! And thank you for being my 100th follower =D
      [You're mentioned in the latest post, just btw ;)]
      Hahaha I do too ;)

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  6. marksheets decide nothing.
    nothing at all.

    i was so happy about my tenth ka result and now no one even asks me about it. :(
    so don't waste your time worrying about marks! :P

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  7. That was very well written. And it might sound cliche but cliches' are true....Your fate is in your hand. You can do whatever you want with your life. Do things that make you happy. Always :)

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Why you no comment? Waaaaaaaa :(